Trump and Kim Jong Un Relationship Back from the Brink: What about Your Marriage?

It seemed the Summit was dead. But now they’re “on” again. Trump turned it around. Can he do the same for his marriage? Can you? Relationships expert Mort Fertel enlightens.

Q: What’s the connection between the Summit negotiations and marriage?

A: The lesson here is that things in relationships change. People use terms like “dead” or “irreconcilable” to describe a broken marriage as if it’s permanent. In relationships there’s no such thing as permanent; we’re always in a state of flux.

Q: What do you mean a state of flux?

A: How I treat you today has more impact on how we feel about each other than our entire relationship history. It could be we’ve been in love for years, but if I betray you today that feeling of love will be gone.

Q: Does the same hold true on the upside?

A: Yes, but the process takes more time. It could be that we’ve been at each other’s throats for years, but if I extend to you a random act of kindness today, it’ll warm things between us. The reconciliation process has begun. You’ll be hesitant to open your heart, but I will have succeeded to move the needle.

Q: But what if my spouse doesn’t reciprocate? What do I do then?

A: Lead, don’t follow. We should never treat someone the way they treat us; we should treat them the way we want them to treat us. That’s how you lead a marriage in a new direction.

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